


How Much Is That Kenzi In The Window?

by seriousfic



Category: Lost Girl
Genre: Animal Play, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-08
Updated: 2013-07-11
Packaged: 2017-12-18 04:10:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/875470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seriousfic/pseuds/seriousfic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Important life lesson: Before going undercover as your best friend’s pet, make sure you don’t actually want to have kinky petplay sex with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [beerbad](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beerbad/gifts).



 

Kenzi loved being a human. Loved it, loved it, loved it (except when she was on her period). She loved free will, the duality of man, not having a second head—all that stuff. There were just times she really didn’t appreciate how every Fae under the sun had some awesome ritual, or destiny, or mumbo jumbo except for the lowly human. Wasn’t there some Light Fae affirmative action that would give her a Colt .45 of +2 Enhanced Ass-kicking? She hated being left out.

 

She was in The Dal, getting her drink because those Fae A-holes had the _best_ beer, like, brewed in barrels or under swamps or something (she hoped it wasn’t some Hannibal thing where it was made out of people). And she was about—‘script for The Lone Ranger’ drunk when Bo traipsed in, wearing a surprisingly girly Shantung silk wrap above the usual asstacular jeans.

 

“Alright, what is with the doll heads?” Bo cried, holding up a decapitated Cabbage Patch Kid. “Someone tell me about the doll heads, because I woke up in a _very_ good mood this morning, which was completely ruined when I went to get the paper and there was the _head_ of a _doll_ on my porch.”

 

“You still read the paper?” Trick asked, looking up from his iPad. Oh so trendy. Kenzi stuck her tongue out at him on Bo’s behalf.

 

“I like the comics,” Bo answered, “and the paper comes in handy.”

 

Trick set down the glass he was cleaning and gestured for the head. Bo jerked it into his hand and crossed her arms to wait for his exposition. Trick examined it casually, then dropped it into his waste bin.

 

“Good news!” he said cheerfully. “It’s an invitation to the Bonehouse!”

 

“The Bonehouse?” Bo asked.

 

“I think Bo-bo’s already been to the Bonehouse,” Kenzi said, playfully popping Bo in the ribs. “Why do you think she woke up in such a good mood?”

 

“The Bonehouse is—well, you may have heard of a variation of it that some Fae have shared. The sweat lodge? There are also some examples in Celtic culture, but really, it’s a catch-all term for a period of relaxation, negotiation, and formal détente.”

 

“Huh?” Bo said.

 

“Think of it as a siesta,” Trick explained. “Many of the Fae higher-ups get together, relax, dance, drink, all to foster bonds and settle grudges, avert conflicts. Makes it easier for the various leaders of the Fae to reach out to each other for the good of the community. I’m not surprised to see it being revived. The Light and the Dark having closer ties is exactly in keeping with Hale’s new agenda as Ash.”

 

“So why’s Bo invited?” Kenzi asked. “I didn’t think her title as ‘queen of the one-night stand’ was official.”

 

“Well, it’s not, strictly speaking, for just leaders, but all movers and shakers, so that they can know the lay of the land. Bo’s an important voice in the community, and it’s a great honor to be recognized as such.”

 

“I think I’ll pass,” Bo said. “I do have stuff to do…”

 

“People,” Kenzi corrected into the glass she was drinking from.

 

“And sitting around taking tea with the old white men of the Fae is not my idea of the good time.”

 

“I don’t think there’ll be much tea. The Bonehouse is all about unwinding and letting your hair down, absent the burden of command that would usually weigh a celebration down. Many a prince or princess was conceived at the Bonehouse, as well as some very unexpected allegiance-marriages between Fae tribes.”

 

“So it’s Monster Mardi Gras,” Kenzi said. “ _Awesome._ ”

 

“There will be free drink, herbs, candies—“ Trick sighed longingly. “It almost makes me regret leaving the Blood King behind. You should go, Bo. You deserve to have your Fae heritage bring you some excitement instead of endless gloom and doom. All you’ll need is a decent ensemble, maybe a good book for when the partying dies down, a pet—“ Trick winced. “No, no pet.”

 

“Why no pet?” Kenzi looked around quizzically. “My girl loves pussy.”

 

“Not that kind of pet,” Trick said. “The Bonehouse tends to be very traditional and the only humans allowed would be… well…”

 

“Kenzi is not my pet!” Bo insisted.

 

“You have claimed her repeatedly in the past.”

 

“To protect her! So that some freaky Dark Fae has to respect her boundaries.”

 

“And that’s the kind of nuance that would be lost at the Bonehouse. That leadership of the Fae are, to a man, old and set in their ways. Remember, two Ashes had to die before a Fae as young as Hale could even begin to be considered. As much as you see Kenzi as your equal, they would see her as…” Trick shrugged apologetically. “The Robin to your Batman. You were right, Bo, I’m sorry. I’ll get in touch with the Bonehouse, make it clear you’re not interested in attending.”

 

“Wait a minute!” Kenzi held her hands up. “You say there’s gonna be free drinks?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Free food?”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Slammin’ hotties?”

 

“Well, by Fae standards…”

 

Kenzi faced Bo. “Let’s go!”

 

“Are you kidding? You heard Trick, they’ll think you’re my Labrador.”

 

“Yeah, and you’ll get a crash course on Fae politics instead of needing Patrick Stewart’s Mini-Me to explain everything to you. No offense.”

 

“I take it as a complement,” Trick said.

 

“You can get your name out there!” Kenzi argued. “Get some Facebook friends on hand for the next apocalypse. Plus, we can steal the shit out of their buffet table. Unless you wanna take Lauren—“

 

“We’re on break,” Bo said morosely. She turned to flick a peanut off the bar.

 

“Really? I thought she was the most get-back-togetherable chick on the planet. Just show up at her lab in some of that lingerie you keep spending all our change on, throw her on the lab table, and boom, love amongst the bunsen burners.”

 

“You’re talking about my blood kin,” Trick pointed out.

 

“Sorry, Trick. Your blood kin has had it slammed to her.”

 

Bo moved her head around until she was nodding it. “You’re right. Let’s just go. Get away from blondes for a while.”

 

***

 

“Fancy seeing you here,” Tamsin said.

 

They stood in front of the door to the Bonehouse, a closed subway entrance with a doll head struck on the pike of the hand-rail.  Kenzi almost stopped to give the bitch some grief for going all Serpico on her bestie, but Bo pulled her along by the hand. But that just gave Tamsin reason to slip down the stairs behind them, her eyes on Bo’s ass.

 

“You might’ve left your emo at home,” Tamsin added. “There’s no kid table at Bonehouse.”

 

“Okay, I am not emo!” Kenzi cried over her shoulder. “Hipster, maybe a little, but only because Godspeed You Black Emperor really does make some great music. If you’re going to insult me, at least do a good job of it!”

 

“Don’t give her the satisfaction, Kenz,” Bo suggested, giving Kenzi’s arm a forceful tug.

 

Kenzi half-embraced Bo from behind, like she wanted a pony ride, and shot Tamsin a last merciless look. “Jealous?” she mouthed, and cuddled Bo once more before letting her go.

 

Tamsin scowled all the way to the check-in booth someone had made out of the turnstile. “Pet?” the obsequious Ameliac Fae asked in greeting.

 

“I sent him ahead with my bags.”

 

“But of course. Enjoy your stay, dear.” The Ameliac opened the turnstile for Tamsin, lifting it out of the way rather than inconveniencing her with pressing through. Then he turned to Bo, lowering the turnstile once more. “Ah, Ms. Bo. Pet?”

 

“Her name is Kenzi,” Bo said, hoping she didn’t sound too shrill. Before she’d left, Trick had told her to just be calm and insistent when dealing with Fae who didn’t understand.

 

“Of course it is,” the Ameliac replied, only a little condescending. “And her brand?”

 

“I haven’t branded her. She’s my friend.”

 

The Ameliac rolled his eyes. Maybe. It was hard to tell with seven of them. “Then I must insist on your pet wearing a collar. We can’t have our guests thinking there are stray humans wandering about.”

 

“ _Kenzi_ is a sentient being and she does not have to wear a collar if she doesn’t want to.”

 

The Amelaic stepped on a floor tile and up came a collection of collars on a pillar. “If you don’t have one, the Bonehouse will be happy to provide a loaner.”

 

Bo took a deep breath. “Do you have to wear a collar? Because the only way I would even think of making Kenzi wear a collar is if _everyone_ had to wear a—“

 

“This one!” Kenzi said, holding up a thick leather collar with studs of shiny chrome up and down it. She modeled it. “I look like I’m back in high school!”

 

***

 

Past the subway bits, the Bonehouse looked like the kind of expensive that Kenzi could only describe as _Revenge_ -esque. There were lots of plush chairs made of leather, and thick carpets, and bookshelves full of the kind of books that no one actually read. Their room, which a liveried human led them to, was equally swaggy, with complimentary everything that Kenzi wasted no time in shoveling into her purse. There was spiced rum and some kind of cake waiting for them. Only a precision slap on her wrist prevented Kenzi from pursing that too. Instead, she and Bo shared it, forks the extent of their table manners.

 

They left the cake a crescent moon of frosting and collapsed, tipsy and full, onto the bed. There was only one, a four-poster monstrosity that looked like it could fit everyone Bo would have to call if she suddenly tested positive for something.

 

“We’ve finally arrived,” Kenzi said, fingering the collar she wore. It didn’t chafe at all, but the weight was unfamiliar. “Private investigators to the stars, baby!”

 

“We’re still private investigators? I thought we were just freelance do-gooders at this point. I had to update our W-2,” Bo joked.

 

“No, I know how important private dick is to you.” Kenzi wiped her mouth of chocolate and puddled onto her pillow. “Do I have time for a nap? I wanna nap like a mofo.”

 

“Sure, Kenzi. Dinner’s not until eight.” Bo eyed the collar that sunk into Kenzi’s pillow. “You know, you can take that off when it’s just the two of us.”

 

“Nah, I don’t want to embarrass you. God knows if Tamsin came in and saw me breaking the leash laws, she’d blab about it to your entire Dark Fae clique. Hate that bitch.”

 

“Tamsin’s not that bad,” Bo insisted.

 

“Uh-huh, just because you have les-boner for her, doesn’t mean she’s not dag nasty evil.”

 

“I do not have a les-boner for her. My les-boner is only for Lauren. I am monogamous and stable and we will work things out.”

 

“Oh, sweetie—“ Kenzi extended a foot to comfort Bo’s elbow as best she could. Sprawling out on the bed had not put them in the best position for girl talk. “You know, I really wish a chastity routine could get the two of you back together, but I think you’ve got bigger problems.”

 

“I just want her to give me a sexy massage,” Bo pouted. “She was really good at that.”

 

“I know, babe. Go to sleep, there’ll be more cake when you wake up.”

 

Bo took hold of Kenzi’s foot and cuddled it as she curled into sleep. Kenzi laid there, now uncomfortably awake, and wished she could do something to help. Stupid break-ups.

 

***

 

Dinner took place in what seemed, to Kenzi’s Downton-Abbey-watching mind, to just be a big-ass study. Everyone sat in awesome high-backed chairs, wearing the usual James Bond cosplay. Their humans, however, wore everything from lingerie to sexy kitty outfits, and that was just the men. Kenzi felt like she’d died and gone to a James Franco movie.

 

Bo, for her part, wore a Breakfast-At-Tiffany’s outfit, with Kenzi in a subtle reflection of her goth years that triumphantly still fit: leather pants, a fringe-y black top, and boots with five-inch heels. It was the eyeliner, she thought, that kept the whole thing tasteful. Too much and she would’ve looked like Marilyn Manson, but she had on just enough to bring out her eyes.

 

Seeing that the humans were in charge of bringing their masters food, Kenzi went to the kitchen, which looked like a cooking show had broken out, and came back with a plate of what looked most like pizza. The other pets stood by their masters’ chairs, but screw that. Kenzi sat cross-legged by Bo’s side and ate her almost-pizza. It tasted a lot like a gyro, but she didn’t hold that against it.

 

Unfortunately, the dinner conversation was _super-_ boring. The Fae were so old school they didn’t even speak English, just that dumb Fae language Bo had been learning. Apparently, it worked for her. She broke out laughing quite a lot, and had them laughing in turn at “Hariq ka dou ba maheest!” Kenzi concentrated on her food so much that she quickly had the gyro-pizza polished off, and tried to spy an opportunity to go back for more, preferably during a lull in the conversation.

 

That didn’t happen.

 

“I beg your pardon,” a Daoine Sidhe said in English, floating up on his fairy wings from where his plate had been set on the chair—where he’d been standing—(dude made Peter Dinklage look like Shaq)—to eye Bo and Kenzi. “I’m not sure _how_ the new generation treats their pets, but I cannot be the only one comfortable with this fragrant human cruelty!”

 

“Excuse me?” Bo said, bristling.

 

“Your human!” the Daoine Sidhe said. “Look at her! Clearly, she’s uncomfortable and in need of attention! _Pet her_ , for Zeus’s sake!”

 

“Yeah, Bo,” Tamsin piped up, sipping her wine in villain-chillin’ manner. _Kenzi_ bristled. “Just by looking at her, you can tell this human hasn’t been touched in _ages_.”

 

“Fine. You want me to pet her?” Bo slapped her hand down on Kenzi’s head and began to rub. “There. I’m petting her.”

 

“You have a fine-looking human there!” the Daoine Sidhe persisted, floating back down to the plate of food. “You should take better care of her.”

 

“Kenzi can take care of herself!”

 

The Fae looked about at each other like Bo had just suggested dressing up in Halloween costumes and playing cricket, though that probably would’ve had more takers.

 

“Uh, Bo?” Kenzi said softly. “Little to the left please?”

 

Bo scratched there, just behind Kenzi’s ear. Kenzi leaned into it. As long as she was getting a scalp massage, might as well enjoy it.

 

“Well, obviously I take care of Kenzi when she’s in trouble she _can’t_ handle. Just last month I saved her from a kitsune.”

 

“That’s all well and good,” said a Hsien who had obviously grabbed a new body for the celebration, one still with the fresh scent of embalming fluid on it. “But having a human is more than just feeding and clothing them. You have to give them love—let them know you care. They’re very needy creatures.”

 

“Guys, we cuddle all the time.” Bo cast a quick look at Kenzi, then continued in the Fae tongue. Whatever she said seemed to break the tension. Most of them laughed appreciatively, then moved on to listen to a troll tell a lengthy anecdote.

 

Kenzi didn’t listen. It all might as well be C-SPAN. C-SPAN on Telemundo. She just let Bo scratch her scalp. It felt nice. Really nice. For a part-time lesbian, Bo had great nails.

 

“Kenzi,” Bo whispered in English, so as not to interrupt the troll’s story. “Wanna lay down on my lap?”

 

“Wha?”

 

“Lay your head down on my leg. You look tired. And you’re a human; no one expects you to stay awake for this.”

 

“Keep scratching?”

 

“Of course, Kenz.”

 

Kenzi contentedly laid her cheek down on Bo’s well-muscled leg, her stocking nice and soft, the skin underneath even softer. Even Bo’s nails were soft, in a way, as they moved to scratch the back of Kenzi’s neck. Kenzi sighed lovingly. She was so lucky to have met Bo. Even if Bo were human, she’d be awesome, but her being Fae was, like, double-awesome. She smiled to herself. She almost wouldn’t have minded belonging to Bo for real. The succubus did take great care of her. Like a big sister, or a really manly boyfriend, just with boobs.

 

Suddenly, she found herself actually moaning out loud as Bo took hold of her neck and dug her thumbs into muscles Kenzi hadn’t even known were sore. Her nerves crackled like lion-tamer whips. It felt really good—like, awesome foreplay, tickle-fight, cheating on a diet good. But it was also super-relaxing. Like she was having a dream so good, it was in her head even before she actually fell asleep.

 

“You okay, Kenz?” Bo asked, a little concerned. She’d misinterpreted the moan.

 

Kenzi nodded a little into her thigh. She’d moved a little up Bo’s leg—enough to fit her whole head onto the decadent bit of fat in Bo’s otherwise athletic legs. She’d squeezed her arms up there too, resting them on Bo’s far leg. It gave Bo more to work with; she felt those soft nails scratching amicably over Kenzi’s forearms.

 

“Guess you really needed this,” Bo whispered.

 

“Sleepy human,” Tamsin said sweetly—wait, Tamsin?

 

Kenzi opened her eyes. Her head and shoulders were still nestled in Bo’s lap, but the other Fae had left. Only Tamsin was left, standing over them in her pleasantly unhelpful way.

 

“Need some help tucking her in?”

 

“I think I’ll just stay here until she wakes up,” Bo replied, equally nice-nasty to Tamsin.

 

“Better hope her wet dream ends soon. The servants will be coming by to clean up soon. Maybe Kenzi can talk to them, human-to-human. Something about destroying the environment, or Honey Booboo.”

 

“Kenzi doesn’t watch Honey Booboo and you know it,” Bo insisted, but Tamsin was already sashaying away.

 

Kenzi lifted her head after she was gone. Her head felt nicely… big. All unspooled from Bo’s thoughtful massage. “What was that all about?” she asked drowsily.

 

“Nothing. Let’s go to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

 

Bo stood up beside Kenzi, cracking her bones. Kenzi winced at a particularly loud pop. She wondered how long Bo had indulged her in playing pillow.

 

“Maybe I should give you a massage of your own back at the ranch,” Kenzi suggested.

 

Bo looked abashed. “Only if you want to.”

 

“I just offered, didn’t I?” Kenzi swung her hips out to bop Bo, who didn’t even crack a smile. She just headed for the door. “Hey, c’mon, I was just playing…”

 

***

 

Despite how weird Bo was acting, Kenzi felt asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. She woke up to the glow of the gentle Fae-lamps and a tray of Belgian waffles delivered by her favorite succubus.

 

“OMG, if I am a cat, I must be one of those Persian cats that get spoiled rotten.” Kenzi dug in, breakfast in bed, and only noticed Bo’s queasy laugh three gulps in. “Hey, Bobo, what’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing. Trick was right. I should’ve brought a book. Today’s gonna be pretty dull.”

 

“What d’ya mean? I thought you were all looking forward to the day’s festivities. Didn’t you go to bed last night with visions of sugarplums dancing in your head?”

 

“I, uh… misunderstood some things. Guess I’m not as good at speaking the mother tongue as I thought. Anyway, it’s not important. We’ll just have a little daytime sleepover.”

 

“What are we, on Planet Lame? Hold up.” Kenzi took a bite of waffle and a gulp of milk, because she really was starving. “Okay. What’s going on with the Bonehouse. They’re not, like, hunting someone for sport, are they?”

 

“No.”

 

“Oh Jesus, it’s people, isn’t it? They’re serving us people. We’ve eaten people, haven’t we?” Kenzi looked at the waffles as if she might find a gold filling in one. “ _Haven’t we?_ ”

 

“Kenzi!” Bo said sternly, calming Kenzi down with her forcefulness. Funny how that worked. “It’s nothing like that! I’ll tell you exactly what it is, though. I thought today was a special Fae event where human pets are free to ‘switch masters,’ and I’ve had a number of offers to… serve under me. And I thought that was all it was, just some no-strings-attached sex. But it turns out, for me to get with a pet, I would have to give their master equal time with my… you.”

 

“Holy shit, I’m clit-bricking you.”

 

“You,” Bo said soothingly, “are the best wingman of all time, so don’t even worry about my clit. You’ve done more than enough on that account. This is just a bunch of old, fucked-up Fae doing old, fucked-up Fae stuff and we don’t need to have any part of it. Tomorrow is a nice, normal egg hunt and _that_ we can enjoy, guilt-free.”

 

“Still feels pretty wack,” Kenzi groused, so unhappy she could barely even chew her latest mouthful of Belgian waffle (but it really was good, so she did). “I’m your BFF. BFFs don’t let BFFs not get laid—or something.”

 

“ _Kenzi_ ,” Bo whined with good humor. “As hard as this is to believe, you are much more important to me than a hard penis.” She swooped down to wipe some syrup off Kenzi’s chin. “Even a really big one.” Then she sucked it off her thumb.

 

***

 

There wasn’t any TV in the room—Fae conservatives were even worse than regular conservatives—but Kenzi had about a million hours of New Girl on her phone, so they laid in bed and watched that and ate a pretty awesome Fae chip dip to their heart’s content.

 

At least until someone knocked at the door.

 

Kenzi sprang into action, rolling out of bed and brushing some food dust off herself before getting the door. “Oh, it’s you,” she greeted. Tamsin smirked at the impolitic welcome.

 

“I feel like we got off on the wrong foot,” she said, smarmy with insincerity. She breezed past Kenzi to Bo, who stayed in bed in a subconscious pin-up pose. Kenzi rolled her eyes. Total les-boner. “I hear you backed out of our little… swap meet, and I have to think it’s because you didn’t realize little Kenzi would have to get her hands dirty.”

 

“Who Kenzi gets involved with is her business and her choice,” Bo said, sounding a little sanctimonious even to Kenzi.

 

“And I wouldn’t dream of having it otherwise,” Tamsin said, dropping her purse by the door, right on top of Kenzi’s favorite shoes. “But honestly, hitting the meat market isn’t my idea of a good time. So how’s this—you take my pet for a little ‘walk’ and I spend some quality time with Kenzi. Not doing anything… untoward. Just some girl talk.”

 

Bo fixed Tamsin with a dubious stare. “I’m not interested in whatever Fae groupie you’re offering.”

 

Tamsin whistled. “Here Precious, here boy.”

 

A man stepped into the doorway. It was Sexy Kitty Guy. He was a Very Sexy Kitty Guy.

 

“He’s a big fan,” Tamsin said, drawing out the third word in the sentence.

 

“I… I…” Bo stopped counting abs and focused on Tamsin again. “How do I know you didn’t just tell him to act interested in me so you could get me in some sort of death-trap?”

 

“You’re a succubus. Any succubus worth her bra must be able to tell when someone’s truly into him.”

 

Bo’s eyes flashed a little blue. She nodded a little. “I can feel his want from here,” she said, almost to herself.

 

“Eeesh,” Kenzi said, getting dressed for company. This consisted of putting her commemorative Star Trek tribble slippers on (her last boyfriend had been such a stealth nerd).

 

Bo snapped out of it and back to Kenzi. “It’s really her decision. I’d never do anything she was uncomfortable with.”

 

“Are you kidding me? Tap that, sister. I’ll be fine.”

 

“Well, if you insist.” Bo was out of bed at warp speed and offering her arm to Precious, who took it gladly.

 

“Make good choices,” Kenzi called as the door swung shut behind them.

 

Tamsin sat on the bed. “So… when the cat’s away, how’s the mouse play?”


	2. Chapter 2

Kenzi shored another long blonde lock into a curl, leaving Tamsin’s head almost entirely encased in rollers. “This will have you looking like Veronica Lake in no time.”

 

“Who’s that again?” Tamsin asked, spying a look at herself in one of the room’s ornate mirrors.

 

“Only an acting  _goddess_. You’d think an immortal would know a bit more about the Golden Age of Hollywood.”

 

Tamsin shrugged. “I was a little busy that decade. There really is nothing like killing Nazis. I almost feel sorry for your generation. What do you get to kill? Al Qaeda? Please.”

 

Kenzi finished, not sure what to say. Tamsin’s hair was all up in rollers, which made her slightly less intimidating, but also kinda like Bruce Willis at the end of an action movie? All bloody and battle-damaged, in terms of hair, but also up to Level 50, so Bruce/Tamsin could kill a guy with one quip.

 

“Ah,” Tamsin said, noticing they were through. She looked at herself in the mirror and nodded sharply. “You think Bo likes curls?”

 

“I have no idea what Bo likes.”

 

“You’re right. She is something of a ‘All Of The Above’ type.” Tamsin looked at her with widened eyes. “Makes me wonder why she never went in for you, sweet thing.”

 

“I’m not gay.”

 

“Does that really count for anything? With Bo? C’mon, Kenzi. What’s the average cock have on all _that_?”

 

“She’s my friend,” Kenzi protested. “Anyway, what about you and… Precious?”

 

“What about us?” Tamsin asked innocently, going to the icebox for a complimentary drink.

 

Kenzi crossed her arms and legs, settling back against the bed’s headboard. “How can you own a slave? I mean, don’t you Fae ever watch Django Unchained and think, ‘hey, I’m Leonardo DiCaprio’?”

 

Tamsin scrunched her nose at Kenzi. “It’s a bit more complicated than that. Take Lauren—your second mommy. She volunteered for a life of servitude in exchange for Fae goodies.”

 

“Yeah, only because the Ash made her an offer she couldn’t refuse.”

 

That hit home. Tamsin scowled. “Yes, well, that’s the exception that proves the rule. Most pets get a completely fair exchange, considering their rather tiny lifespan. Besides, that was Light Fae. You can’t hold me responsible for what that pack of hypocrites do. The Morrigan always gives fair price.”

 

“Yeah, okay—why would anyone want to be some Fae’s butt monkey?”

 

Tamsin settled heavily into an armchair and patted a knee with her free hand. Kenzi looked at it suspiciously.

 

“Come here,” Tamsin reiterated. “I want to return the favor and comb your hair. It really is pretty nice, once you get past the oil spill.”

 

Kenzi groaned and went to submit to Tamsin’s babying. Bo had better be enjoying her swinging. There should be butt stuff, at least.

 

She sat down on the floor, with her legs folded under her, and felt Tamsin sweetly gather up her hair to pet it with her fingers, twisting it around her knuckles and making the occasional little scratch with her nails. It felt a little nice, which was the only reason Kenzi didn’t pull out her smartphone and check Denny’s twitter feed.

 

“Do you know what a pilot fish is?” Tamsin asked, reaching for an ivory comb on the dresser.

 

“Dude, I’ve watched every Shark Week for the last decade. I know what a pilot fish is.”

 

“The shark,” Tamsin continued over her objection, running the comb gently through Kenzi’s hair, “is an apex predator. Everything in the sea is food to it. Except the little pilot fish. Why? Because the pilot fish has evolved to eat the parasites that afflict the shark. And so, the shark returns the favor by protecting the pilot fish from predators. A mutually beneficial relationship.”

 

“And what does Precious get out of your little symbiosis? Not getting eaten? I'd prefer a 401(k).”

 

Tamsin made a long-suffering groan. She pulled hard at a tangle, making Kenzi wince in pain before the combing continued. “You know, in school, I wrote a dissertation on that. It was my theory that, although humans were unaware of our existence for the most part, Mother Nature was. And like all ecosystems, it sought a balance between our predation and your, well… deliciousness. And so, some of you humans evolved to serve us. To enjoy it, mind you. And as much as you talk about the dignity of man and freedom and liberty and the Fourth of July… deep down, you love having someone take care of you. It’s in your blood.”

 

“Not in mine,” Kenzi protested. “I’m totes independent. Bo doesn’t tell me what to do.”

 

“But you would like it if she did? Just a little bit? Let’s face it, Kenzi.” As if Tamsin were saying nothing more important than Britney Spears lyrics, she picked up a section of Kenzi’s hair and ran the comb down it until the lock of hair lay smooth as silk in her hand. All the while lecturing in a cool, calm voice. “Before Bo met you, you were a hot mess. If it weren’t for her, you’d be a video on Unsolved Mysteries. She gave you purpose in life. She gave you direction. Because of her, you can be as irresponsible as you like, knowing she’ll always be there to swoop in and make everything better. She’s your master, Kenzi. You’re her pet.” Tamsin let Kenzi’s hair slip through her fingers, back to her scalp. “It’s a shame she’s such a bad master, though.”

 

Kenzi really wanted to swivel her head around, like, 180 degrees, Linda Blair style, but Tamsin was combing another section of her hair. So she just tilted her head backward to look up at Tamsin with angry eyes. “Even if Bo were my master, which she isn’t, she’d be a great master!”

 

Tamsin was finished with Kenzi’s hair, so she ran her nails through it, tickling her scalp. Kenzi closed her eyes, trying to enter a Zen state where she wouldn’t give any sign of how good it felt. It was like when Bo had massaged her scalp the other day, only Tamsin _committed_ to it somehow, some kind of possessiveness in her touch that made it feel extra-special. Bitch.

 

“Bo,” Tamsin said smugly, tugging a little on Kenzi’s long locks, “lets you get away with almost everything. Sometimes she ignores you, sometimes she smothers you, _always_ she spoils you. You’re begging for her to play with you the way you _need_ to be played with, but she doesn’t even notice. She lets you run off the leash at every opportunity, with barely even a collar to let other Fae know you’ve been claimed. You’d be so much happier if you just admitted what you both want from your ‘friendship’. Her on top. You on bottom.”

 

“That’s… that’s not…” A soft breathiness had entered Kenzi’s voice. Those fingers in her hair felt so nice, and the comb was lying on the dresser. There was nothing to Tamsin’s touch now but pure lust.

 

“I’ll prove it to you,” Tamsin whispered. “Take my shoes off.”

 

Kenzi looked down. Tamsin was wearing a pair of wedge boots laced up to her knees. Nonetheless, Kenzi diligently bent to do as Tamsin had asked her. Her fingers manipulated the tiny laces out of their holes like she was playing a Game Boy, finally loosening the boots enough to slide off. Underneath, Tamsin wore nothing but silk stockings. Her toenails were painted bright red, bright enough to shine through the dark silk.

 

Kenzi didn’t know why she was doing this. Just to be nice, she thought. Tamsin had been nice to her, after all, so she could just return the favor. Return the favor and that would be it.

 

“Very nice,” Tamsin said, and it did feel good to hear some actual approval from Tamsin instead of the usual snide… snideness. “Now could you rub my feet? I’d like it a lot if you rubbed my feet.”

 

It had felt really good to have her hair combed. That was the only reason Kenzi took hold of Tamsin’s left foot and rubbed it as gently as she could, as if she were polishing glass. It was just the equivalent of a nice scalp massage, so they were even. Though maybe if she did the other foot, they’d be uneven again, and Tamsin would comb her hair some more. That would be nice.

 

“Good human,” Tamsin breathed, as Kenzi lowered her foot to the ground and picked up the other one. She delicately traced the tendons before digging in with her thumbs. Poor Tamsin. She’d probably been on her feet all day. And then she’d been so nice, to Bo, to Kenzi, and if Kenzi just did as Tamsin told her, she’d keep being nice. Maybe even nicer.

 

“Now why don’t you kiss my foot?” Tamsin asked. “Why don’t you suck on Mommy’s toes a little too?”

 

Kenzi blinked. Why was she touching Tamsin’s foot? Why was Tamsin telling her to kiss her foot? _What the hell was going on?_

“What are you doing to me?” she demanded, dropping Tamsin’s foot and scooting back.

 

“Just what Bo does to you. A little more honestly, perhaps…”

 

“No!” Kenzi protested, rocking forward on her ass, now counting off on her fingers like she was marshalling arguments. “Bo is nice and she loves me and she would never, ever ask me to kiss her foot or her ass or whatever sick shit you do with your goddamn pets!”

 

Tamsin’s brow furrowed in displeasure. She slipped her boots back on. “Bad human. Very bad human!”

 

“Don’t talk to me like that!” Kenzi said insistently, wondering why her heart was quickening, her system flooding with adrenaline. Tamsin had no right to say that. She was a good human. After all, Bo liked her well enough, didn’t she? Not that what Bo thought about her mattered, though it did matter, of course, but not like that… whatever that was.

 

“Bad humans don’t get petted,” Tamsin said emphatically. “Say you’re sorry right now or you won’t get petted!”

 

Kenzi almost did—she didn’t know why, but Tamsin browbeating her scared her on a level she wasn’t used to. She was almost comfortable with Fae trying to eat her and wear her skin, but Tamsin was her friend. Her friends should like her, shouldn’t they? That wasn’t a Fae thing, that was the way she was with humans too. If Bo told her to say she was sorry, she would apologize, right?

 

Nothing was making any sense. She’d liked being petted, she had, but who cared if she never got petted again? It definitely wasn’t good enough reason to kowtow to this bitch.

 

Tamsin scowled at her so hard, Kenzi thought she was going all Valkyrie for a moment. “You’re such a bad human. No wonder Bo’s ditching you for her little lab rat. I bet Lauren’s a much better pet than you. I bet she comes right when she’s called.”

 

Kenzi tried to say that it wasn’t true, that Bo would never leave her (so _what_ if Bo had spent a lot of time with Lauren back when Bo/Lauren was on, not even noticing Kenzi had been all kitsune-y at the time?). She tried to, but all that came out was a little whimper. She’d displeased Tamsin; what if she displeased Bo next? What if Bo yelled at her too?

 

“Take off your clothes right now!” Tamsin demanded.

 

Kenzi’s hands darted to the hem of her shirt before she stopped herself. _No,_ she said to herself. No way she was signing up for Mistress Tamsin’s Discount Bondage or whatever the hell this was. And she didn’t give a shit if Tamsin didn’t like it, because Bo would always like her, especially when she stood up for herself.

 

Tamsin broke into a smirk. “You want to. I can tell. My Precious does too. He’s a bad human too, just to get me to yell at him. His cock gets so hard when I yell at him. Just like your nipples, I bet. If only I could do something about that. Nah…” Tamsin trailed off, her head tilted to the side like she was watching something else. “I hear Lauren’s letting Bo fuck whoever she wants on the downlow. Who knows how long it is until our succubus has herself a regular harem? I don’t think she’ll have much time for you then. Maybe she’ll give you to me. You’re cute when you’re angry, after all. I think I’d like snuggling with you at the end of a long day.” Tamsin stood, towering over Kenzi, still not looking at her. “I wonder what’s going to ruin your little civil union first: the fact that she wants to fuck you or the fact that she _won’t._ ”

 

Tamsin’s body swiveled to where her head was turned, and she walked to the door. Opening it just as Bo arrived.

 

Long experience had allowed Bo to do a good job of tidying herself up, but with her hair, there was no hiding how coital things had gotten. It was tangled up like barbed wire, plastered to her neck with sweat, the lowest strands of it touching the valley of her cleavage. Tamsin eyed her up and down before smirking magnanimously.

 

“Well, at least someone had fun.”

 

“I think I could come around on the leashes,” Bo conceded, dropping into a chair. “How was Kenzi?”

 

Kenzi didn’t like that, being talked about in the third-person. Maybe Bo just hadn’t seen her yet, but still—it was way too much like Tamsin had been babysitting while Mommy went out to have a social life.

 

“I’m fine, thanks,” she said sarcastically.

 

“She is fine,” Tamsin agreed, giving Kenzi the same physical look she had Bo. “T-T-F-N.”

 

She kicked the door shut behind her.

 

Bo gave Kenzi a look, her face drawn in mild concern that Kenzi realized was her ‘sidekick look.’ “What was that all about?”

 

“Nothing. Tamsin being Tamsin.” Kenzi got up just to sit back down. She realized too late it was in Tamsin’s armchair. The warmth of the woman permeated Kenzi’s body. “Bo? You wouldn’t—I mean, you like having me as a roommate, right?”

 

“Of course!” Bo laughed. “You don’t smell my underwear, watch me sleeping, or steal my boyfriends. And if you did, you’d probably let me watch.”

 

“Why would you want to watch me smell your underwear?” Kenzi asked, before realizing it was a sex joke. _Duh._ “Never mind. I’m being stupid. Stupid human…”

 

“Did Tamsin say something to you?” Bo insisted.

 

Kenzi got up, this time to pace around. “She is such a psycho. She thinks people just can’t be friends or something! Like you can’t be friends with me without wanting to do me or I can’t be friends with you or _something_. Geez! Psycho!”

 

“Come on, just because I’m a succubus, doesn’t mean everyone I meet is on the menu.”

 

“That’s not it…” Kenzi paced more frantically. She caught her reflection in a super-glazed vase on the endtable and didn’t like the look of her—anything. Tamsin had gotten her all sweaty. “It’s like, you’re a Fae, I’m a human, so of course I’m your pet!”

 

“You’re my friend,” Bo said calmly.

 

“I know, right? Humans and Fae can be friends! I bet Hale and Dyson have lots of human friends, don’t they?” Kenzi stopped to point at Bo. “Friends who aren’t pets!”

 

“Well, I’ve never asked them…”

 

“Why haven’t you?” Kenzi demanded.

 

“I don’t know… they work at the police station, I’m sure they have work buddies or…” Bo watched Kenzi go back to pacing. “C’mon, Kenz, they’re friends with _you_.”

 

“Yes, but _you_ claimed me! How do I know that if I wasn’t your pet, Hale wouldn’t go—‘oh, look, a cute little human with a great fashion sense, better adopt her, she can’t possibly take care of herself without some big strong Fae to look out for her!’” Kenzi threw her hands out, meaning to emphasize her point, but her left hand collided with the vase.  It teetered for a moment, before crashing to the ground.

 

Bo winced at the noise. Kenzi instantly snapped out of rant mode, mild with apology.

 

“I didn’t mean that!” she said, as if that would cause the vase to apologetically fix itself.

 

“It’s alright,” Bo assured her. “Just… sit down and stay put so you don’t cut yourself. I’ll go get something to clean this up.”

 

It wasn’t until Bo left that Kenzi realized how Bo had talked to her—like her babysitter used to back when she was being potty-trained. Still, she brought her legs up to her chest and sat in place. If Bo hadn’t given her such a clear instruction, there was every chance she might’ve stepped on a shard and cut herself right through her slippers.

 

***

 

Bo caught up to Tamsin in the lobby, just as the servants were mopping up the evening’s footprints, slime trails, and sundry bodily fluids. Upon seeing their confrontation, the humans took their cue to discreetly fade away.

 

“What the hell did you say to her?”

 

“You mean your bestie isn’t sharing?” Tamsin retorted, mock-concerned. She tapped her chin sardonically. “That sounds like trouble in paradise…”

 

“Quit screwing around!” Bo slapped Tamsin’s hand away from her face. “Tell me what happened. And if you hurt her, I swear to whatever cray-cray god Fae worship, I will go _ape-shit_ on you.”

 

Tamsin folded her arms with a huff. “I just told her the truth. She’s not being a very good human for you and you’re not being a very good master for her. Just watching out for you, sorority sis.”

 

For a moment, Bo’s jaw threatened to drop. “I am not Kenzi’s master!”

 

“So you two keep telling me. Be honest, though. Who takes care of who in your little clubhouse?”

 

“Kenzi has had my back plenty. When Dyson left me, when Lauren left me, Kenzi was my only constant.”

 

“Oh, right, emotional support. That’s not boring… why don’t you just get a dog? Oh, wait, you did.”

 

“She,” Bo crept into Tamsin’s personal space, never taking her eyes off the Valkyrie’s, “is not,” their foreheads met, “ a pet.”

 

“Because you don’t treat her like one.”

 

“That’s right, I don’t.”

 

“But she _is_.” Shaking her head, Tamsin circled the room. She came to a dollhouse, incongruously set up on an oaken table. Played with a Barbie with one hand. “She’s not your equal, succubus. The more you try to force her into that round hole, the worse off your square peg will be. She’s human, you’re Fae. Try acting like it for a change.”

 

“If being Fae means treating people who are different like they’re inferior, I’d rather go back to being human.”

 

“You were never human!” Tamsin flicked the Barbie away in exasperation. “That was never an option! You can’t just—pretend you and Kenzi are the same species! It’ll mess you both up.”

 

Bo threw up her hands in an I-give-up gesture, going to an abandoned drink cart to see what was on tap. “The only thing messing Kenzi up is you. Leave her alone.”

 

“Really? Cuz how’s that working out for you?”

 

Bo looked back at the intent Tamsin as she poured, her eyes broadcasting ‘this had better be good’.

 

“You’re the succubus. When was the last time your little Commie had some good old-fashioned missionary position?”

 

“I don’t know—Nate, I guess. She hasn’t had much time for dating. That’s on me.”

 

“And why didn’t things work out with ‘Nate’?”

 

Bo slugged back her drink, knowing Tamsin was just going to love this. “I was going through some things. Kenzi thought she needed to focus on me. But that doesn’t mean—“

 

Tamsin strutted toward Bo like a linebacker charge, barely even slowing until they were a handspan apart. “You were more important to her than her fellow human. Than her own mating drive. What does that tell you?”

 

“It tells me she’s a damn good friend.”

 

Tamsin swiped Bo’s drink away. Bo had numb fingers, despite everything. “Come off it. You’re a succubus. You must know Kenzi’s in her sexual prime… all hormones and naughty thoughts. And instead of shacking up with some nice young thing her own species, she’s focused on _you._ She’s counting on you to scratch her itch, Bo. Because that’s how it _works_ between us. Fae. Human. We tend their needs, they tend ours.”

 

“The only need I have is for a good friend,” Bo replied. Unhappily, she watched Tamsin drink. “Stay away from her. Stay away from us.”

 

Tamsin examined her empty glass, as if had suddenly become much more fascinating than Bo. “Come see me when you’re done playing Jane Goodall. I’m very good at training humans. Even better at training succubi.”


	3. Chapter 3

“What the fuck is this?” Bo asked, back in their room.

 

The Fae in the French maid outfit, clearly used to much worse outbursts, just glanced at the letter she had delivered to Bo. “I believe the censure is written in both English and Faetongue. If it is still incomprehensible, I can read it out loud for you.”

 

Bo gave her the eye. “Get lost.”

 

With the door closed once more, Bo read the letter again. She didn’t like the sound of it anymore the second time.

 

Kenzi stirred from the bed, where she’d gone to sleep early for once. “What’s up?”

 

Bo rattled the note nervously against her finger. “It’s a notice of censure from the Bonehouse authority. That vase you broke was sixty-five million years old. Dinosaur Fae used to play with it.”

 

“I said I was sorry.” Kenzi twined her fingers in her hair, suddenly as nervous as Bo was. “They’re welcome to my bank account. I think I have enough for a Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s.”

 

“This is serious!” Bo almost, but didn’t quite, raised her voice. “It’s a note of _official_ censure, Kenz. As your owner, I’m expected to reprimand you.”

 

“Okay. Consider me reprimanded. My vase-smashing days are over.”

 

Bo bit the inside of her cheek in irritation. “It doesn’t work like that! You have to feel genuinely contrite or they’ll—you just do, okay?” Best not get into what the Fae would do if they took Kenzi’s punishment into their own hands.

 

“ _Look_ , I said I was sorry. What more do they want, a written apology?”

 

Bo balled the note up and dropped it on the floor. Utterly out of patience, she stared at Kenzi. “Get out of bed.”

 

“What? I’m comfy!”

 

“I said get out of the bed _now_.”

 

As if playing to a silent-film audience, Kenzi extravagantly threw the sheets off her body and got to her feet. “Alright, I’m out of bed, don’t bust a tampon.”

 

Bo wasn’t assuaged in the slightest. When Kenzi looked at her, she was hard as stone, her hands nailed to her waist. “Kenzi Amasova, ever since I claimed you, your conduct has reflected on me. When you behave badly, it affects my standing in the entire Fae community. And most of the time, I don’t give a damn what the Fae think of us. But I will not give you free rein to embarrass me in front of people our lives could depend on.”

 

“I’m soooooorry.” Kenzi spelled it out in the air as she sounded out both words. “Do you want me to say it in Russian? I can say it in goddamn Russian for you, Bo-bo, just give the word—“

 

“I want you to sleep on the floor tonight.”

 

Kenzi looked at Bo so hard that, if this were a practical joke, Bo would surely crack up. She didn’t crack. Not one iota. “Are you _fucking_ kidding me?”

 

“You screwed up, Kenz. And if you won’t take this seriously, well—I’ll just have to take it seriously for you.”

 

“I’m not sleeping on the fucking floor, Bo! I’m not some fucking animal!”

 

Bo was silent with resolve. She crossed her arms, just to emphasize there was no arguing with her.

 

Kenzi threw her hand up. “Fine. Have it your way. I’m going back home, to sleep in my own bed, and you can stay here and play with your little Fae buddies until you get the bitch out of your system.”

 

“Lie down on the ground,” Bo said, softly but with absolutely no patience for dissent. “Right now.”

 

Kenzi opened her mouth, to insult Bo, to call her a name, to say she was sorry one more time, but nothing came out. She felt her body lowering itself to her knees. She felt herself curl onto her side, just as Bo had commanded.

 

“I want you to stay in that exact spot until morning,” Bo ordered. “And trust me, you do not want me to catch you somewhere else.”

 

“What if I have to pee?” Kenzi asked, horrified at how pathetic she sounded.

 

“Then you can _fucking_ hold it.” Bo emphasized the profanity just as Kenzi had.

 

Kenzi hid her face, eyes burning with tears. Bo watched her, hating how Kenzi looked, like a bug that’d been hit with insecticide, but she watched until she was satisfied Kenzi would stay where she was and accept her punishment. Then she changed into her bedclothes, turned down the lights, and climbed into bed. All the while, Kenzi stayed in place, like a child in time-out. With her Fae senses, Bo could practically taste the salt in her hot tears, feel the shame that came off her body in pheromones. She laid in bed, unable to sleep, for what seemed like hours.

 

Kenzi stopped crying presently, but the dirty sense of shame persisted about her. Bo worried she’d been too harsh, taken up the concept of punishment too quickly to be fair to Kenzi. It was a new wrinkle to their relationship, but she just didn’t know how else to get through to her. Surely, the contritement Kenzi now felt would satisfy the censure’s magic, sparing her from whatever punishment the Fae might devise. In time, Kenzi would see that. And if not…

 

Bo pictured Kenzi leaving her. Of course, why wouldn’t she? Friends didn’t talk to each other the way Bo had. Lauren would’ve left Bo on the spot if Bo had even thought of treating her that way. What was so different about Kenzi, that Bo could justify acting that way?

 

“Kenzi,” Bo said gently, as if not to wake Kenzi, as if she didn’t know Kenzi was still awake.

 

“Yeah?” Kenzi said back, her voice thick with tears and disuse.

 

“I’m sorry I had to yell at you.” Bo spoke so gently she was almost inaudible. Like Kenzi was a frightened deer she was trying not to spook. “You just weren’t appreciating how serious the situation was. If the Fae don’t feel you’re genuinely remorseful—you know how they can be. I’m only doing this to protect you.”

 

“I know.” Kenzi sniffled. “Bo?”

 

“Yes, Kenz?”

 

“I really am sorry. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble. If I could do something to fix it—anything—I would.”

 

“It’s alright, Kenzi. It wasn’t your fault. You just need to take responsibility for what happened.”

 

“I know. Thanks for looking out for me.”

 

“Of course, Kenz.”

 

“Can I… since you know I’m sorry, can I sleep next to you again?”

 

Bo’s voice was suddenly firm. “I told you what your punishment is. You’ll just have to put up with it. If you really want to get out of punishment, I suggest you take that energy and use it for thinking your actions through in the future.” Bo and her mother weren’t on speaking terms, but Bo had to admit, the woman had been a hell of a parent when she wanted to be. She would’ve been proud to hear Bo had absorbed a few of her lessons over the years. “I can’t get you out of trouble, Kenzi. Only you can do that, for yourself.”

 

“Yes, Bo. Goodnight, Bo.”

 

“Goodnight, Kenzi. Sweet dreams.”

 

***

 

Bo was right.

 

The first ten minutes Kenzi had spent on the floor, she had hated Bo for the first time in her life. What gave Bo the right to talk to her like that, treat her like that? Bo, the slutty Fae in the hooker outfits, who couldn’t keep a man with a chain, or a woman for that matter! Fucking succubus. Fucking Chosen One, ‘oh I hate having a super-special destiny,” bitch cunt whore. Treating Kenzi like shit. If Kenzi had half her mutant-ass superpowers, she would’ve been twice the Fae Bo was. She would’ve kicked the Garuda’s ass, bitch-slapped Aife, and had a threesome with Dyson and Lauren. Who the hell was Bo to act like fucking Captain America all of a sudden?

 

Then she calmed down. Cried it out like it was poison. Who was she kidding? Bo had actually gotten pretty awesome at this Buffy crap. If Kenzi were in charge of saving the world, the Apocalypse probably would’ve come while she was trying on shoes. She was reckless, and irresponsible, and Bo did shield her from the consequences of her actions. Bo had saved her life a gazillion times; all she wanted in return was for Kenzi to pull her own weight and not cause her any extra drama. And look what Kenzi had done. Gone all rock star on their fancy-schmancy Fae hotel room. What a joke. What a dick move.

 

Well, she’d be good from now on. She was a lowly mortal, sure, and she couldn’t slay any dragons for Bo, but at least she could spare her any more dumb human problems.

 

And she could make it up to Bo, or at least try. She knew Bo had been in a sex-funk ever since her _thing_ with Lauren. She needed chi, and while Precious had looked like he had it to spare, there must’ve been some room left for the tank to be topped off. And just this once, as a friend, Kenzi could step in.

 

***

 

Morning came. Bo woke up to find Kenzi still on the carpet where she’d left her. She stared fondly at Kenzi. Part of her had fully expected Kenzi to leave her in the night, ditch her for being such a shitty friend. She should’ve known Kenzi wouldn’t give up on her.

 

“Hey, wake up.” Bo knelt down next to Kenzi and shook her shoulder. “C’mon, sleepyhead. It’s morning.”

 

Kenzi’s eyes blinked open. “Wha—all night?”

 

“Yes, Kenz. You spent all night here, just like I told you. Thank you for that. I know it wasn’t easy to accept me… disciplining you, but I only did it because I love you.”

 

“I know, Bo-bo.” Kenzi smiled fondly up at her bestie. “Can I pee now?”

 

Bo laughed. “Of course, Kenzi.”

 

The human scurried off and Bo spotted the letter of censure, blown under her bed in the night. She picked it up and unrolled it to find the mark of censure glowing. Kenzi truly was contrite. No Fae punishment was coming.

 

Bo ripped the note up. She was eager to put their little BDSM experiment behind them. Maybe she’d take Kenzi out for ice cream or something to make up for having to be such a hose-beast. Whatever Kenzi wanted.

 

Kenzi came out of the bathroom, relieved in many ways. Cracking her limbs into alignment, she plopped down on the bed. Bo grinned at the little show of willfulness. And here she’d been so worried. Like anyone could tame her Kenzi.

 

“So what’s on the agenda today, captain?” Kenzi asked with a salute.

 

“Traditional Fae folk-dancing,” Bo answered. “Think we’ll skip that. I need a shower. You order us something from room service, preferably nothing we have to kill ourselves.”

 

“Roger wilco!”

 

Bo went into the shower, happier than ever to have Kenzi as a friend. She really needed to make a better apology for what she’d done. At the time, she’d thought there was no other way to get through to Kenzi, but maybe if she’d explained it better, kept a cooler head… who knew?

 

***

 

As soon as Bo was in the shower, Kenzi shucked her clothes. She had to make things right with Bo. She’d been bad, very bad, and this was her only chance to make it up to her. She was a good friend, an awesome friend, and now was her time to prove it.

 

Closing her eyes, Kenzi laid on the bed and set her hands on her thighs, neatly beside her groin. She didn’t know quite what to do. Not that she was any stranger to the little man in the boat, but usually the urge came, often after a new Henry Cavil photo shoot hit Tumblr, and she’d just go with the flow. Actually saying ‘Thundercats are go’ herself was a new one for Kenzi.

 

She thought of Bo. That was appropriate. After all, she was doing this for Bo. Her best friend, and the best master a pet could ask for, not that she was a pet or Bo was a master. Either way, Bo was a slamming hottie. Kenzi pictured her in the shower.

 

Bo would be naked. She looked so good naked. Not the slightest bit self-conscious. Almost a bit mischievous, like she knew how even straight women thought about her naked body. The couple times (and counting) Kenzi had seen Bo naked, she’d given her a look so unembarrassed she was practically proud. Proud of being seen nude.

 

Bo probably wouldn’t even pull the plastic curtain closed. She’d just step inside, turn the taps on, and lean into the feel of the stream of water on her skin. Kenzi had felt the shower herself. The prickly shower spray was so much more intense than the weak drizzle of cold water at home. It almost stung. Kenzi remembered it on her nipples, her legs, her belly—her cunt, the few times that had been exposed. She hadn’t deliberately sought out contact, not with Bo in the other room. But would Bo, with Kenzi next door? Of course she would. She was a fucking succubus.

 

She’d clamp her legs together at first, maybe thinking this would just be a simple shower. Bo had to get back to her good friend Kenzi, to make sure she’d learnt her lesson. But it would feel so good (as good as Kenzi’s hands felt, gently rolling over her pussy… no, that was too intimate, too crude. She pulled the bedsheets over herself and touched through that. It felt better. More sensual, somehow.)

 

Bo would open her legs. Feel the shower fully on her private parts. Let her lust rise as she soaped up a washcloth and not so innocently lathered her perky breasts first of all. Kenzi imagined the soap suds covering her breasts, uncovering them, the washcloth scraping against her little pink nipples, making them bigger, harder. Then Bo would turn to the showerhead and her breasts would be washed clean again, the strange thrill of her self-exploration only amplified by the water against her tingling nipples.

 

Now her eyes would be lit up, her breasts heaving, her cunt moist. Kenzi pictured it, fixed it in her mind, drank the image in. It was practically a memory, she had seen so much of Bo’s body. She imagined Bo was standing in the shower, staring at her with eyes made of lust. So fucking perfect. Her Bo was so yummy. Kenzi didn’t know how she’d ever resisted her. Was it just that Bo hadn’t ever offered?

 

Moving in sync, as if the imagined Bo was a reflection of the masturbating Kenzi, they touched themselves. Kenzi’s fingers moved as if they had a mind of their own; Bo’s mind, Bo touching her the way Bo liked to be touched. Slender and trembling, they pulled the sheet aside. Underneath, her cunt was pink and wet. She felt exposed, vulnerable. Her sex demanded touch.

 

“Bo,” Kenzi said, practically whimpering, as her middle finger pushed into her cunt. Bo’s fingers were longer than hers, and more skilled. They’d feel so much better inside her—but this felt so nice too…

 

“Oh, Bo!”

 

She giggled at the rhyme. Her finger was going deep, and it just felt nicer and nicer.

 

“Oh-oh-Bo! Oh-ho-ho, Bo!”

 

It was so funny, so silly. Why hadn’t she done this sooner? Obviously, Bo would make her feel good. It was right there in the name.

 

Kenzi pictured Bo, too, going faster. The rough washcloth going up and down on her slit, revealing and concealing like a magician’s handkerchief. Bo’s long, perfect fingers pushing the cloth just a little inside. Washing away all her other lovers, cleaning up Precious’s cum. Getting it all nice and tidy for Kenzi, so she’d only ever taste Bo Dennis, her wonderful succubus.

 

“Ohhhh,” Kenzi cooed. “Boooo…” She saw Bo hunching forward, meeting her humping fingers with her cunt. The washcloth dropping down onto the drain as her fingers dug deep, hitting buried treasure.

 

“Bo!” she cried, urging the succubus on as Bo slipped down to the floor of the shower, fucking her hand now, squeezing it between her thighs like a desperate lover.

 

“Bo!”

 

Kenzi felt her orgasm closing in. She favored the imaginary Bo with one as well. But something was missing. Some last piece of the puzzle kept her pleasure merely physical instead of—transcendent.

 

“Bo!”

 

Not that there was anything wrong with physical.

 

“Bo! Bo! _Bo!_ ”

 

“For Christ’s sake, what is it?” Bo demanded, coming out of the bathroom wrapped only in a sky-blue towel, her dark hair hanging in frayed ringlets down her bare back. Seeing Kenzi, she froze. Seeing Bo, Kenzi sped up.

 

She knew she wouldn’t come. She was on a plateau. Bo was what was missing. Bo’s eyes, Bo’s touch, Bo’s voice, Bo’s love. Kenzi needed it like a drug. And she needed to come like she needed to breath.

 

“C’mere,” Kenzi said woozily, her hand frantically diddling herself as if of its own accord. “Drink me down, lover. Swallow me whole.” Her voice became clear and smoky at the end. Lust thick in each word.

 

“I… Kenzi, what’s… we’re not…” Bo felt a kind of sensory overload take her. It was all too much. Kenzi was naked. Kenzi wanted her. Kenzi was touching herself. Kenzi was a lesbian?

 

It could’ve been a million things. A trick, a trap, a spell, a shape-shifter. But just at that moment, Bo didn’t care if it was all of the above.

 

Her towel slipped from her shoulders as she approached Kenzi, naked as the day she was born.

 

Kenzi’s hand slowed down appreciatively. Kenzi shuddered in pleasure as she savored the sight of her best friend’s nude form. Bo was better than she could have ever imagined. A creature of sheer physical lust, the good humor and friendship momentarily vanished, leaving an expression on her face of pure sin. Her friend Bo had left the room. Her mistress Bo was in the driver’s seat.

 

“Sweet… little… Kenzi,” Bo said, as if to herself, her voice lilting playfully. Her eyes, bright blue, took in every curve, every drop of sweat, every little wiggle of Kenzi’s masturbation.

 

“All yours,” Kenzi replied. She would be a good girl. She’d make everything up to Bo. She’d give her all the chi she could handle.

 

Bo smiled with dark humor. “Your wrist must be cramping up.”

 

“Wanna take over?”

 

“If you can stop touching yourself.”

 

With an effort, Kenzi did just that. After all, it would make Bo happy, and that was what was important. She brought her hand out from between her legs, sopping wet, and moved it proudly toward her mouth. Bo snatched it on the way there. She brought it up to her lips, Kenzi quaking with every inch of the journey. Smug with knowing satisfaction, Bo displayed her tongue and dragged it from the heel of Kenzi’s hand to the tips of her fingers, tasting both the salty flavor of Kenzi’s skin as well as the ecstatic sweetness of her juices. She smiled, pleased with either.

 

Kenzi whimpered. It felt better than her hand had, and it wasn’t even on her pussy yet. “Did I do good?” she asked softly.

 

“Very good,” Bo muttered distantly. Her eyes traced Kenzi’s body once more. On display. Offered up to her. “Spread your legs.”

 

“Am I your good Kenzi?”

 

“Hold yourself open for me.”

 

Kenzi was quick to obey. She opened herself for Bo, wincing with every moment Bo stayed separate from her. She was Bo’s. Why wouldn’t Bo have her? She needed to be _had,_ taken, possessed. She was Bo’s; she didn’t want to be anyone else’s and she didn’t want anyone else to want her.

 

Bo sauntered down to her knees, her shadow possessive enough as it fell across Kenzi’s cunt. “I’m gonna drink your cum,” she announced, her sultry voice making the words sound decadent instead of crude. “With a chaser of chi.”

 

“I’m all yours, Bo.” Kenzi meant it. She was Bo’s. Body and soul.

 

Bo licked her lips. Then she licked Kenzi’s. Kenzi moaned at the first, screamed at the second. But that was as far as she got. Smacking her lips, Bo raised herself from Kenzi’s groin and moved her hands in. One covered Kenzi’s crotch, the heel of her hand grinding into Kenzi’s pleasure. The other pressed down on Kenzi’s bare stomach to hold her down. And as Bo did it, she looked up into Kenzi’s eyes with a Cheshire cat grin.

 

How could Kenzi have ever thought she was Bo’s equal? Bo was a queen, a nymph, a goddess. Dragging her lip between her teeth, Bo just prodded the tip of her forefinger inside Kenzi. It sunk deliciously into Kenzi’s wetness, and the softest of pushes had it penetrating deep into Kenzi’s clinging sex.

 

“Bo! Bo!” Kenzi said urgently. The pleasure was all-encompassing. She was so glad to be holding herself open for Bo, to be helping Bo, helping herself achieve perfection. “T-tell me I’m pretty!”

 

Bo smirked incandescently as Kenzi’s legs steepled beside her, toes digging into the mattress. She kissed Kenzi’s thighs on either side of her head. “You’re so pretty, baby. Pretty little Kenzi…”

 

“And tell me I’m good!” Kenzi begged. “I wanna know I’m good!”

 

Bo smeared more kisses along Kenzi’s thigh, as her fingers sank deep, withdrew just a little, and dove back inside even further. “You are good. My good little human.” Bo winced at the words—she didn’t know where they came from, they just sounded right. But Kenzi wasn’t hers—even though Kenzi’s body was screaming its ownership, woman and flesh together in submitting to Bo, _so fucking hers_ —Kenzi was Kenzi and Kenzi was a human being. Why was she fucking Kenzi? Why did she have this overwhelming urge to—to mark Kenzi, leaving her stinking of cunt, her master’s cunt, letting everyone know that Bo had fucked her and only Bo was allowed to fuck her?

 

It must’ve shown on her face—she was thinking of stopping—because Kenzi let go of her pussy with one hand, leaving only two fingers holding it open, and clamped her loose hand down in Bo’s hair. “I’m your pretty human!” Kenzi said breathlessly. “Your good little human!”

 

“ _Yes_ ,” Bo agreed, losing herself in Kenzi’s complete surrender. It was intoxicating. “You are a good human.” She slipped another finger inside Kenzi, knowing the human could take it. With a groan of pleasure overcoming pain, Kenzi did. “Such a good human. Take my fingers, Kenzi. Kenzi loves a nice little finger in her pussy, doesn’t she?”

 

Kenzi nodded frantically. Bo laughed to herself. Her friend was so cute. So fucking cute.

 

“Does Kenzi want me to lick her little pussy?”

 

Kenzi nodded again, but Bo wouldn’t be satisfied with that.

 

“Speak, Kenzi! Speak!”

 

“Yes I dooo,” Kenzi forced out. She broke into panting when the words were out, exhausted by the effort. “I’d love it if you licked my pussy, please lick my pussy, Bo, _Bo!”_

Bo drew her fingers away slowly. Kenzi whimpered, but held still. Such a good human, Bo thought. “I’m doing this,” Bo said with a kiss to Kenzi’s knee, “because you’re acting so well-behaved. It’s a reward for your good behavior. Understand?”

 

“Yes, Bo, I understand, I do!” Kenzi panted.

 

“You’re going to keep being good? Because I can’t be nice to you like this if you misbehave. I’ll have to punish you. I don’t want to punish you. I’d rather reward you, like this.”

 

“I’ll be good! Please, Bo—I’m your good little human, I am!”

 

“Who’s my good little human?” Bo asked again, her voice so high it was almost mocking, teasing. Her mouth was so close to Kenzi’s cunt that the human could feel the words on her clit.

 

“I am! Kenzi is! _Fuck,_ Bo!”

 

Kenzi’s little play of obedience ended then. Bo didn’t blame her. It would be hard for anyone to remember to be prim and proper with a succubus on them. Bo smothered Kenzi’s inner thighs in kisses, little breathy pecks that let her sample the well-used arousal Kenzi had brought out in herself. Then she started licking, her tongue daintily traveling over the stubbly hair Kenzi’s razor left, touching Kenzi’s cunt but not penetrating it.

 

Kenzi tried her best to be good and Bo appreciated it. The human instinctively grasped the dynamic. She knit her hands into the sheets and held on, letting Bo be completely in control. She couldn’t keep herself from swearing—“Fuck, shit, _oh shit,_ Bo! Yes! Oh God, Bo, please!”—but Bo kinda liked that. Knowing she was driving her human out of her mind with pleasure. The important thing was that Kenzi wanted to be a good little human and was trying so hard.

 

“Good girl,” Bo praised enthusiastically, passing to rub her hands over Kenzi’s quaking body. She trawled her palms from Kenzi’s sides to her stomach to her squirming legs, calming her down, keeping her sane. “You gonna come for me?”

 

“Yes, please, just—“ Kenzi threw her head back against the pillow.

 

“Here it comes, Kenzi. Here it comes.”

 

Bo licked her lips soundly and pressed her moist mouth to Kenzi’s cunt in one long, soulful kiss. Her tongue delved deep into Kenzi, harvesting her pleasure. Every little spot of ecstasy, every inch striving to be touched, Bo used it all up like a flame burning down a candle. An hour’s worth of oral ministration, crammed into sixty seconds.

 

“Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!” Kenzi barked out her met needs like a broken record, not sure where she was or who she was, just that Bo was her best friend and Bo was making her feel this way. When she came—the first time—it was with a scream that left her throat hoarse. “BBOOOOO!”

 

Bo drank down all the nectar Kenzi would feed her. Kenzi was particularly sweet for a human, but also a little tart in a way that was perfectly _Kenzi._ She gave the human a bare moment to suck air, one deep breath, then rose to kiss her so hard she almost forgot to pull at her chi. Kenzi moaned at the taste of herself, the taste of Bo, then vibrated with pleasure as Bo fed off the lust she had just created.

 

Bo was careful not to take too much. It was particularly Kenzi’s first time. So she left her with an excess of sexual gratification. Usually, she drained her lovers dry, leaving them feeling fucked beyond the bounds of physicality, like they’re just been through a marathon sex session with Sting. Kenzi retained just enough to still be aroused. For Bo, it was like snacking between meals, since she usually didn’t like to feed off humans until she’d taken them as far as they were willing to bodily go.

 

Kenzi collapsed away from Bo’s kiss, lying sweaty and panting on the sheets. Her eyes darted about, all energized, like a kid on a sugar rush. Bo laughed fondly and Kenzi looked at her, the author of her pleasure.

 

“Holy frak,” Kenzi said.

 

“You good?”

 

“So good.” Kenzi was in her own little world, like she’d just tasted a perfect mocha blend. “So good… good… Bo…” She moaned, shaking with a little lingering joy. “Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo-Bo!”

 

“I don’t think this customer is one hundred percent satisfied,” Bo heard herself say, and her eyes once more glazed over with blue lust. She ran her fingers through Kenzi’s hair. “Do you wanna lick my pussy?” she asked, swirling the hair around her wet fingers.

 

Kenzi’s mouth dropped into gaping need. “Can I? Can I? Please, Bo, can I eat you out?”

 

“Are you sure you want to?” Part of Bo really did want to know this was what Kenzi wanted—not just a quick fuck, but the intimate turn of participating herself. This was far beyond a simple taste of chi… but another part of her thought it was so adorable to tease Kenzi, when _of course_ she wanted nothing more than her face shoved in succubus cunt. “Who wants to eat me out? Do you wanna, Kenzi? Do ya? D’ya?”

 

Kenzi actually clasped her hands together like she was praying to Bo. It was a ridiculous notion—but then, hadn’t humans worshipped Fae as gods before? It was an easy mistake to make. Bo thought of going by Aphrodite, perhaps as a DJ name. “Please, Bo, pretty please, please can I eat your pussy? I’ll be so good, Bo, I’ll be your good little human, I promise! I’ll never misbehave again!”

 

“I won’t hold you to that,” Bo smirked. She rolled onto her back and spread her legs slowly. Let Kenzi see where her arousal glistened on the sparse hair of her lower belly. “Come on, Kenz. Din-din.”

 

Kenzi was too boggle-eyed to move. Suddenly, she saw her best friend’s breasts, her long flat stomach, her curving hips, and especially, most especially, her vivid pink cunt. _That_ was just about too much. “I want to lick you all over,” she said wonderingly.

 

“Kenzi,” Bo said firmly, and the human hopped to. Throwing herself down on Bo’s lap and licking like her ice cream cone was melting on a hot summer day.

 

Bo let her head fall back with the simple, luxurious enjoyment of Kenzi’s attentions. It was pretty obvious this was Kenzi’s first time, and the girl wasn’t a natural, but something about the human’s complete devotion and desperate need to please transformed the experience. She would’ve taken Kenzi’s striving love over a porn star any day.

 

“Good _girl_ ,” Bo trilled pleasedly, patting Kenzi on the head as she tried so hard to make Bo come. “Good girl, Kenzi, you’re doing so good. Lick me, Kenz! Lick! Lick!” She petted Kenzi’s scalp, and her encouragement soon had the human going harder and faster. Just what Bo needed. “Bo’s got a treat for you. Want a treat, Kenzi?”

 

Kenzi nodded, still with her tongue in Bo’s cunt. The succubus laughed at the new sensation. In just a few short minutes, her body was ready to come, already primed from the indulgent feeling of bringing Kenzi to orgasm with complete control.

 

“Get ready, Kenzi. Get ready. Here’s your treat. Yes! Yes! _That’s a good human!”_

 

Bo wasn’t a human. She was a succubus, and when succubi came, it was hard and loud and most of all, wet. In fact, Bo tended to keep bottled water by her bed, just for fluid replenishment, and was thinking of having a water cooler put in since sixteen ounces of Perrier was never enough for any sex worth a damn.

 

The point was, that morning was no exception. Bo’s face froze with a very satisfied smile, she keened like a bitch in heat with bodily spasms, and she came. She came on Kenzi’s hair and face and throat and tits and belly, showering her with gulping spurts of release. Kenzi drank greedily, but it was like trying to do a keg stand without spilling a drop. By the time the succubus sighed her last, Kenzi was dripping with Bo, covered with her. Every Fae for ten miles could’ve smelt the succubus on Kenzi, long before they saw the collar. Bo looked at Kenzi, cum dripping from her hair, and thought _Mine._

“Come here,” Bo said, and Kenzi came when called, shuffling up the bed on her knees. Bo stroked her face, and down to her breast, feeling the slick flesh smeared with her own passion. She’d have to give Kenzi a bath. Later.

 

“I want you to go and get me a big glass of water,” Bo said. “And I want you to wipe yourself off a little, but only a little. I like how you smell.”

 

“I like it too, mistress.” Kenzi brought her hand over her mouth. The word had just slipped out.

 

Bo just laughed generously. “Go.”

 

Kenzi went, quick and obedient. Bo watched her ass as she went into the kitchen. It, at least, had avoided the deluge. Bo imagined pushing Kenzi down on her belly and fucking her ass with a double-headed dildo, coming on her back so she was _Bo’s_ from head to toe.

 

Sexual fantasies. This was getting serious. Usually when Bo fucked someone, that was it. Her wettie closet was reserved for celebrities who were, unfortunately, usually either Fae themselves or already owned by someone like the Morrigan. She’d had a little fantasy life with Lauren, but maybe that was because Lauren’s restrictions on their relationship made for some very naughty taboos. Like imagining Lauren helping her punish Tamsin for all the mean things she’d said. Tamsin was a cop; cops carried nightsticks, right?

 

Bo pulled a pillow under her head. Even now, with the sexual tension safely defused, she couldn’t bring herself to regret what had happened. Not even the things she’d said to Kenzi, the kind of things she would’ve belted another Fae for saying. Maybe it was just that Kenzi was hers. Kenzi wasn’t Tamsin’s good little human, or Hale’s, or Trick’s. She was her own. And Bo’s.

 

Kenzi came back, carrying a glass of water like she was delivering the Stanley Cup. She seemed completely unconscious of doing a full-frontal. Bo knew her friend was no prude, but she was still a little self-conscious about having some of her tattoos on display. The succubus grinned to herself. Maybe she’d fucked the modesty out of Kenzi.

 

“Thanks, boo,” Bo said, taking the water and guzzling it down. Hit the spot. Kenzi had wiped herself off a little. Cleaning her face had taken her make-up with it. Without it, she looked younger, and strangely innocent. _My Kenzi,_ Bo thought. My Kenzi. The idea felt good. Moreover, it felt right.

 

“That was intense, right?” Kenzi said when Bo had finished her drink. “More?” she asked, gesturing to take the glass.

 

Bo shook her head and set the glass aside. “I don’t usually do that with my gal pals,” Bo said uneasily. As much as she suddenly liked the thought of _having_ Kenzi, she was much more afraid that Kenzi was having second thoughts. Not just as a lover, but as a friend. God, what if Kenzi never wanted to see her again? What if she’d just wanted to take their friendship to the next level, and Bo had ruined it by acting like some big dumb Fae?

 

Kenzi sensed her unease. She rubbed Bo’s thigh supportively. “Hey, Bo-bo, that was my train going downhill. I wanted that. All of it. I wanted to be your…” She trailed off.

 

“My?” Bo prompted softly.

 

Kenzi looked at her. Her eyes seemed a lot bigger without mascara. “I could never be a pet. But I could be yours.”

 

“Kenzi—we should talk about this.”

 

Kenzi got into bed with Bo. The succubus was wordless as Kenzi curled up on her lap. Though her hair brushed over Bo’s groin, there was nothing sexual about it. Bo knew Kenzi just wanted to be petted. And she did. She petted her best friend.

 

“Tamsin said that some humans have… evolved to be symbiotic with Fae,” Kenzi said, eyes closed to enjoy being stroked. “That sounds about right, doesn’t it? I mean, dogs used to be these huge fucking wolves, but look at ‘em now. Paris Hilton keeps one in her purse.”

 

“Kenzi, you are not a dog,” Bo said emphatically. She was enjoying her perusal of Kenzi’s naked body on a level she hadn’t been aware of before. It was sensual, but also friendly. Sweet, somehow. “You are a smart, brave, funny, _amazing_ young woman.”

 

“And I also came like crazy from you treating me like a pet.” Kenzi looked at Bo, eyebrow raised. “Admit it. It’s like a weight’s been lifted, us being naked, you touching me. Maybe it was supposed to be this way. We’ve been denying who we are like we’re in a Katherine Heigl movie.”

 

“I’m supposed to be your master? You’re supposed to be my _pet?_ ”

 

“Maybe. All I know is, it felt right. Tell me it didn’t for you too.”

 

The only thing Kenzi still wore was her collar. Bo ran her finger along it. “We can control our urges.”

 

“Come on, Bo-bo. Why would you want to? I know you respect me, and you love me, and you’re my best friend. Why does _this_ have to change that?”

 

Bo stopped petting Kenzi. “You’d really trust me that way. To be your friend and ask you what I should wear on a date and gossip about who’s dating Katy Perry. And then to put a leash on you and—all this?”

 

Kenzi patted Bo’s thigh. “Bo, I’ve dated plenty of guys who were supposed to be my boyfriends and they treated me like shit. So I’m gonna trust you to treat me better as your pet than some skeevy dude on OKCupid would treat me as his date.”

 

Bo was quiet for a long time. Then she started petting Kenzi again.

 

The human mewled happily.

 

“We should have some ground rules,” Bo said. “Like, if you’re not wearing the collar, you’re BFF-Kenzi. But if you are, then, _then_ it’s okay to treat you…” Bo didn’t want to say it, still afraid of offending Kenzi, but the girl shot her a look that made it clear she was thinking it.

 

“Bo-bo,” Kenzi said sweetly. “I’m wearing the collar.”


	4. Epilogue

_Six months later…_

Lauren curled further into Bo’s body, their forms fitting together familiarly. They hadn’t had sex that night, one of the new rules to make their relationship work. Five nights a week at maximum, even if Lauren wanted more. It took a lot of the pressure off, Lauren knowing it wasn’t her responsibility to sate Bo. Her job was just—this. Being there at the end of the day. Going to sleep with her and waking up with her. Sex was so important in the human world, but what Lauren had learned was that _this_ was so much more important to Bo.

 

It was funny to think of how Kenzi had proved that. Bo had confessed how their relationship had changed the weekend after it happened, staring down at her feet guiltily. She must’ve thought it would end things for good between them. And yet, like Archimedes’ bathwater, it had helped Lauren’s understanding slot into position. Kenzi was Bo’s best friend, true, but she was also her lover—and in the bedroom, she was a pet.

 

Lauren was the equal, even the dominant occasionally. She had a piece of Bo’s heart Bo didn’t give to anyone else. And she knew Kenzi had another piece, maybe bigger, maybe smaller, but she was so happy to be Bo’s wife. Let other people be her one-night-stand, her fuckbuddy, whatever. All of them were just passing through. Lauren was the one she shared it all with.

 

And, anthropologically speaking, the living arrangement was fascinating. Bo had pulled some strings with Hale and gotten them an even nicer apartment, with room for all three of them. Kenzi was like Bo’s roommate, her life sometimes barely intersecting with theirs, sometimes running right alongside it. And Lauren was her wife. She cooked for them, Bo and her best friend, and did their laundry, as well as her damnedest to get Kenzi to do her fair share. Of course, the only one Kenzi listened to was Bo, so Lauren had to nag Bo to nag Kenzi, and more often than not Bo just did Kenzi’s chores herself, which somehow was far more irritating to Lauren than Bo occasionally fucking someone else (though with both Lauren and Kenzi feeding her, that happened rarely).

 

And, yes, Bo and Kenzi had sex. Sometimes Lauren found out about it when she came home from a late night at the lab to find the two sprawled on the floor, partners in crime, the collar firmly wrapped around Kenzi’s neck. Sometimes, and especially on her and Bo’s Off Days, she made it clear she was going to be out late and that if Bo and Kenzi used her bedroom, with the Egyptian cotton that put Kenzi’s bachelorette pad to shame, they would have time to clean up before she got back.

 

Sometimes Lauren even watched. And took pictures. It was absolutely fascinating, a facet of human behavior that was scientifically completely unexplored. She’d thought of comparing her genome’s to Kenzi’s, since clearly she lacked whatever gene sequence that made Kenzi live in such… interesting harmony with Bo. But she liked it being her little secret. For now, the photos were purely artistic. She had thought of being a photographer before getting her degree, and she could’ve have asked to end up with better subjects. Certainly, Bo seemed to appreciate a lot of her ideas for “poses.”

 

“Whacha thinking?” Bo asked sweetly, kissing Lauren’s ear.

 

“Just about you and me and Kenzi,” Lauren answered. Then, in a deadpan voice: “It’s kinda weird, wouldn’t you say?”

 

“I like it!” Bo replied, and her enthusiasm was infectious. It was an Off Day, true, but the rules didn’t say anything about tickle fights. An oversight Lauren both regretted and _didn’t_.

 

They stopped when they heard a jingle at the door. Kenzi’s new collar; the formal one, Lauren called it. Although they’d kept the leather number they’d gotten at the Bonehouse for sentimental reasons, Bo had been quick to buy Kenzi something like a tiara for her neck, all platinum and silver bells, a status symbol for a human in the Fae world, like the jewelry and clothing Bo had bestowed upon Lauren.

 

“Should we?” Bo asked Lauren, giving her a pleading look.

 

Lauren couldn’t resist those puppy dog eyes. “You spoil her,” she said in acquiescence.

 

“She is very fun to spoil,” Bo retorted, before eying the door. “Come in!”

 

The door opened minutely, letting Kenzi slip inside. She wore the pajamas she favored on most nights, but with the collar on she was like a different person. Shoulders slumped, eyes downcast, utterly submissive. Lauren felt Bo’s pulse quicken, just seeing her pet like that.

 

“Kenzi wants to sleep with you,” she said in her babyish ‘pet’ voice, daring a longing glance at their big bed.

 

“Of course,” Bo said cheerfully, though Lauren added “At the foot of the bed!”

 

Kenzi broke out in a smile and ran over to the bed, barely stopping herself from throwing her body onto Bo’s, instead climbing onto the foot of the bed. It was amazing, Lauren thought, the simple satisfaction a grown human woman could get from sharing a couple’s bed.

 

“Does Bo wanna play?” Kenzi asked, still softly, curling up so her head was on Bo’s legs.

 

“Not tonight, sweetie. Maybe in the morning.” Bo turned to Lauren, kissing her cheek so neither of her lovers would feel left out. “Hell of a way to be woken up, huh?”

 

Lauren blushed at the thought of it. “Go to bed, succubus.”

 

Bo settled smugly onto her side of the pillow, already picturing one of their rare, and exquisite, threesomes. Maybe in the shower…

 

She laughed suddenly. Lauren looked at her until she explained “Kenzi’s licking my feet.”

 

“Kenzi!” Lauren said harshly, and the human looked up at her guiltily. “No playing tonight. Remember, we let you in here to sleep.”

 

Kenzi nodded glumly and trapped one of Bo’s legs in her arms to use as a pillow. She snuck one last kiss, though.

 

Lauren maneuvered himself around to spoon with Bo while not disturbing Kenzi, ending up with a leg thrown over the succubus’s waist. It was awkward, but it fit.

 

She dreamed of Bo and the family pet joining her in the shower.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's it, thank you for reading everyone. Sorry the story was so long, but, you know, it was a fun challenge getting Kenzi from Bo's platonic (straight!) friend to 'family pet' and thought all the verbiage was necessary to justify it. It ended up being three times the length of the story I promised, so if you were expecting sex in the first chapter, sorry, so was I. Thanks to beerbad/shinyalice for commissioning this story, and I hope she doesn't mind the Bo/Kenzi/Lauren at the end--I'm pretty sure it's one of her kinks. And if you'd like to commission your own story, send me an e-mail, my inbox is always open.


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